Total Faith

True and total Faith has nothing to do with beliefs.  Total Faith is knowing.  The difficulty is in trying to describe what that Faith is or what is known.  Total Faith is what relies on nothing at all.  Total Faith is what arises when you have discovered your true nature.  Awakening erases the believer in us and makes us what we were believing in... from that, Total Faith becomes our life...who we are....what we are.  It is a faith that goes beyond the believer and its object of belief.  Total Faith ends our belief oriented faith.  It takes the whole structure of our belief and turns it around so that we have become what we were believing in.
I cannot say have total faith that you will get everything you want. I cannot say that total faith holds promise for what one is seeking.  Total Faith is itself the means and end.  It is the deepest desire of the heart, and the fulfillment of all longing.  It is Life, unhinged.  As Total Faith, we no longer rely on anything either outside ourselves or inside ourselves....Total Faith annihilates all of our conceptualizations and puts our life in direct contact with the Source of all Being.  In direct contact with the Source one becomes Faith itself.  All need, all desire, all hope is unnecessary because one knows oneself to be the Totality.

Blown Wide Open

The phrase "blew my mind" is such an accurate  description of what occurs when you see who you truly are.  What is most immediate about an experience of Truth or God is that you recognize that your mind isn't capable of containing that Presence.  You realize that what you're experiencing in that very moment is the Totality of Everything everywhere.  The mind, being this little device revolving around 'me' is never gonna get it...the mind is never going to wrap its understanding around the Infinite.  Being blown wide open is to have your mind humbled by the vastness of what you are.
For many of us that can be quite a terrifying ordeal because we are so accustomed to being able to understand, relate, and conceptualize our world.  Just the slightest kiss of Reality shows you that that's all a big joke.  It shows you that what you have held yourself together as is merely an image on the surface of an ocean that is endless. 
The ocean that is our own Self is constantly inviting our lives to be blown wide open, but it is our attempt to always put a lid on things and keep them manageable that we avoid this 'being blown wide open'.  It may also be that we at some time had this little kiss and because it was so big and huge and held so much energy we're simply not willing to look.
It is very useful to see what prevents your life from being blown open, or what keeps your life from falling apart.  It is often the case that what keeps your life from falling apart is the very thing that keeps life feeling fragile, broken, and full of innumerable sufferings.  It is not that I, or Life, or the Divine wants your destruction or to blow you up.  It is simply that when we hold an idea, image, or belief about what we are, that little 'me' is going to have to be seen through at some point or other because it is ultimately unreal.  The Real will eventually erode, blow up, or simply reveal Itself to Itself and make this illusion of who we think we are totally transparent.
Spiritual Awakening is just a possibility to light the fuse, close your eyes, and say good-bye.
Then, you see that you haven't gone anywhere, nor could you go anywhere.
You are Here.

Change and Transformation

Change doesn't come about through trying to change, change comes about when whatever is standing between you and the change is let go of.  For many us what stands in the way is our very own effort to transform.  When we attempt to transform or change anything, we automatically set up whatever quality, condition, or circumstance that we are attempting to change as a problem.  All problems will increase in degree simply by our desire to change them.  To include within oneself whatever it is that one is attempting to  change frees the problem from being a problem to get rid of.  The problem simply persists out of our resistance, or unwillingness to experience it.  In a sense  change is impossible until we're no longer wishing for it.
It is a ruthless transformation that unfolds when effort and striving to change have fallen away.  The more that we realize our own powerlessness and inability to change ourselves, the more room we actually allow for real transformation.  Up til now you thought you could do it, but it is only when you realize that you can't do it that real transformation is possible.

Being Water

Look at the example of water, see how water does not fight for itself.  See how it bends and flows, evaporates, and is a total example of non-resistance, non-effort, and non-striving.  And--as the Tao te Ching says, "there is nothing so powerful as water to erode a mountain".   Water's power lies in its total non-trying and it therefore follows the natural way of all things.  Water has no will, nor is it  predetermined...it just is as it is when you find it just like it is. Following the example of water we give up both willfulness and no-will.  We simply abide in the way things are.